#fucking huge book
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#books#pick your favorite#poll time#my polls#i love books#the bell jar#sylvia plath#the count of monte cristo#fucking huge book#virginia woolf#lolita#lord of the flies#little women#the catcher in the rye#hundreds years of solitude#dracula#homer#the illiad#les mierables#haha oops#muah <3
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thinking about Nico adjusting to letting himself miss and long for the people he loves. based on these bits from the sun and the star:
" As Nico and Will followed the trogs, he thought about how much he missed Hazel. He was learning to make peace with that feeling. It was okay for him to miss people because that meant he wanted them around in his life. That idea was *very* new for him- he was used to either pushing people away or watching them recoil from his presence." *
" That was the most surreal thing of all... Was he happy? Nico wasn't very familiar with the sensation, but he couldn't deny that he felt wonderful in Will's presence. He even longed for the son of Apollo when they were apart. A funny thing had happened as the two grew closer: Nico suddenly understood all those cheesy, sappy love songs he'd always hated."
#its just. i like that they included that in the book yk. the fact that he prepared a certain distance between everyone#and thus isnt used to missing anyone#so its strange for him#this is probably set somewhere pre tsats just because i like to think it was one of the times he found himself missing and longing.#but it was one of the first times he actually allowed himself to feel that way.#took the feeling and held it instead of banishing it away#also yes letting himself unmask a bit#i like to think he just gets wayyy more expressive with his hands the more he heals#that and he unmasks more!!! more openly stimming!! more special interest rambles!!#just oughh.#anyways this was a huge comic to colour#big fuck you to tumblr who made posting soooo much harder#fuck u and ur updates tumblr#solangelo#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackon and the olympians#nico di angelo#will solace#the sun and the star#trials of apollo#they borrow clothes from eachother its real in my head okay#nico canonally bought will a stupid shirt as a joke tho and i love that for them
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sometimes i think about how garak is the kind of old gay to wear a black turtleneck and wire rimmed glasses to read a book at a bar and who tries so hard to seem mysterious because that’s the only way he can even tangentially flirt, but everyone can tell it’s a sad old man ploy except this one guy, who has the reputation for being the shiniest naïvest kid on the block but the two of them start dating and everyone’s like oh no garak’s taken advantage of this hot young thing and conned him into hooking up with him but then they find out the kid actually has a fucked up intense cold machiavellian streak and that garak is using the fake mysteriousness to cover up the fact that he did war crimes for the CIA and is emotionally destroyed by his dishonorable discharge and somehow their initial guesses were kind of also correct but it’s bashir who has garak in a chokehold actually??
and everyone goes jesus christ thank god you two found each other you should never involve anyone else in whats going on with you.
#ds9#garashir#they do edgeplay in private but the rumor gets around bc bashir bought the books from the kink bookstore and the shopkeeper is a huge gossip#almost everyone has fucked garak but it’s not like in a good way he’s just like messy and forward when he’s drunk
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me omw to scare mormons out of a wendys!! 🍂🖤🍟
ootd from like 2 weeks ago and yes that really happened
#ootd#doodles#art#illustration#fashion#fall#autumn#autumn vibes#cozy vibes#self portrait#artists on tumblr#i havent done an ootd drawing in a while and i just wanted to Make Something#the mormons story: my friend and i stopped at a wendys and there were these two Stock Image Of Mormons dudes sitting at a table#and me and my friend are obvious gay and in different directions. you can tell we are Queers(tm). i look like This and he has#long curly hair and huge earrings. we are the poster children of what mormons prolly show kids and say 'these people are going to hell'#you'd think we had walked in holding signs that say WE LOVE GAY MARRIAGE AND ABORTlON with the way they stopped and started#muttering to each other while looking dead at us in the checkout line. like the entire time. and after a few minutes of whispering to#each other they pick up their food and book it tf out of the restaurant. still looking at us *as they go out the door*#it was so fucking funny. anyway then we stole their table#good! gtfo. i dont want cultists with my fries thanks#im glad my gay autistic aura is strong enough that i scare freaks like that by just Standing There thinking about a crispy chicken BLT#sounds like a 'and then everyone clapped' story but that really did happen to me and ive been laughing at it for 2 weeks now#what Isnt true is that i pulled a whole leaf out of my pocket. that shit was in pieces. and i dont know where it came from
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a copy of a copy of a copy
#she's sooo fucked up and egocentric and her god complex is sooo huge (<- said blushing and twirling my hair)#children of time#avrana kern#books#my art
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Uhhh bling bling bitch
More purple version if u care because i truly cant decide which one i like more idk szare nation this was the main version earlier but i decided i prefer the less purple one
#saw this outfit on pinterest#and i was like#yeah thats purple therefore i need to play dress up with kremy#i was reading the new proxies chaptee yesterday and like yeah kremy needs to be pampered and this is the fit i give him#not rlly his style#but let him be shiny u know#i guess i needed a push to start doing colored pieces#i know this could be more detailed but this took me 4 hours and i cant devote more time to one drawing#cant focus for that long#but yeah im happy with this weirdly enough#its wednesday here so this is my gift for kremy wednesday#kremy nation#kremy lecroux#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#legends of avantris#also this is a gift for myself because today im officially two weeks sober#which is the lomgest streak ive had in years probably#i mean it started to be a problem last summer#but before i would drink like once a week probably#so this is fucking huge in my book#i honestly only have loa to thank for this#im so serious when i say i wouldnt have done this without them lol#anyway#bye
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Sorry for the lack of posts, have some more headcanons!!
#MYYY self indulgent V headcanon number 234 is that shes a huge fucking dork#i.e she was a huge bookworm as a worker#well she was a dork in general#reading. painting. dancing. all of it#but alot of that. was kinda things she had to leave with the rest of her. when she became a Disassembly Drone.#And while alot of her died in the manor. she still kept some things close.#and one of those things is reading!!!#she cringes at like 90% of what she used to read but still goes out of her way to reread the copies she finds or is given#N usually gives her copies#She acts like she hates it but still reads them alone anyway#theres a reason she has bad eyesight and its because she reads with the book 3 inches from her face in the dark#also Uzi probably makes her read Twilight at some point and laughs the entire time (they both hate it. Uzi just likes messing w/ her)#anyway i just like the idea that in a world where V is finally allowed to start her life again#she looks for the things she loved that she had to leave behind#and finds new joy in them as who she is now#she might not be that little worker anymore#but shes still the girl who loved to curl up in the library when no one would notice. reading any book she could get her hands on.#idk i just like the idea that V deep down is still just a girl who wants to have fun.#i just want her to be HAPPY#anyway do you guys wanna hear why Chappell Roan's “Pink Pony Club” is so V code- (i fall down the stage stairs)#murder drones#serial designation v#serial designation n#uzi doorman#also for context ive never read Pride and Prejudice despite meaning to#its just one of the only actual romance books i know off the top of my head#imean no offense to it. I just like joking abt V reading romance sdkfjkldsjf
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There was no real comfort in being alone with her thoughts, her memories, but somehow the illusion of freedom lessened her despair.
— Octavia Butler, Dawn (Xenogenesis, Book I)
#lit#octavia butler#dawn#this book hits so hard and does not hold back#and the exploration it does of grey morality / colonialism / eugenics / power dynamics ladders / coercion and their seductions is just#exquisite. a huge bummer. so fucking layered#incredible and awful
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what makes a poem a poem? does it have to be written in a certain way? is this question a poem if i want it to be?
Fun question! This is just my personal sense as an avid reader and less-avid writer of poetry, but for me it’s useful to distinguish (roughly) between poetry as a genre and poetry as an attitude or philosophy through which language and the world can be understood. And of course these two go hand in hand. I see poetry the genre as essentially a type of literature where we as readers are signaled, somehow, to pay closer attention to language, to rhythm, to sound, to syntax, to images, and to meaning. That attentive posture is the “attitude” of broader poetic thinking, and while it’s most commonly applied to appreciate work that’s been written for that purpose, there’s nothing stopping us from applying that attentiveness elsewhere. Everywhere, even! That’s how you eventually end up writing poetry for yourself, after all. There’s a quote from Mary Ruefle floating around on here that a lot of folks have probably already seen, but it immediately comes to mind with this ask:
“And when you think about it, poets always want us to be moved by something, until in the end, you begin to suspect that a poet is someone who is moved by everything, who just stands in front of the world and weeps and laughs and laughs and weeps.”
Similarly, after adopting the attentive posture of poetics, there’s plenty of things that can feel or sound like a poem, even when they perhaps were not written with that purpose in mind. I’ve seen a couple of these “found poems” on here that are quite fun—this one, for example. The meaning and enjoyment you may derive from the language of a found poem isn’t any less real than that derived from a poem written for explicitly poetic purposes, so I don’t see why it shouldn’t be called poetry.
That said, I do think that if you’re going to go out and start looking for poetry everywhere, it’s still important to have a foundation in the actual language work of it all. Now, this doesn’t mean it has to be “written in a certain way” at all! But it does mean that in order to cultivate the attentiveness that’s vital to poetry, one needs to understand what makes language tick, down at its most basic levels. It will make you better at reading poetry, better at writing it, and better at spotting it out in the wild.
Mary Oliver’s A Poetry Handbook is an extraordinary resource to new writers and readers, and a great read for more experienced folks as well. Mary Oliver’s most popular poems are all to my knowledge in free verse, and yet you might be surprised to find her deep appreciation for metrical verse (patterns of stressed/unstressed syllables), as well as for the most minute devices of sound. In discussing the so-called poetry of the past, she writes,
“Acquaintance with the main body of English poetry is absolutely essential—it is the whole cake, while what has been written in the last hundred years or so, without meter, is no more than an icing. And, indeed, I do not really mean an acquaintanceship—I mean an engrossed and able affinity with metrical verse. To be without this felt sensitivity to a poem as a structure of lines and rhythmic energy and repetitive sound is to be forever less equipped, less deft than the poet who dreams of making a new thing can afford to be.”
In another section, after devoting lots of attention to the sounds at work in Robert Frost’s “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening”, she writes,
“Everything transcends from the confines of its initial meaning; it is not only the transcendence in meaning but the sound of the transcendence that enables it to work. With the wrong sounds, it could not have happened.”
I hope all this helps to get across my opinion that what makes a poem a poem is not just about the author's intention, and not just about meaning (intended or attributed), but also about sound and rhythm and language and history, all coalescing into something that rises above the din of a language we would otherwise grow tired of while out in our day-to-day lives.
I'll always have more to say but I'm cutting myself off here! Thanks for the ask
#ask#discussion#does this even answer the question? lol#anyways even if you're not huge on mary oliver i still highly recommend a poetry handbook#i admit her poetry is only to my taste about 60-70% of the time. but her handbook is a great resource and can stand alone#i actually think oliver wrote a whole other book just about metrical verse too. for people who are into that#also if you're someone who's less interested in the question 'what is poetry?' and more into questions like#why is poetry? can poetry survive? what the fuck happened to poetics in the twentieth century?#i recommend the witness of poetry by czeslaw milosz#an older book—actually a collection of lectures—but an absolute game-changer for me#not a poll
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I want to talk about Harry Potter.
Well. Sort of. I want to talk about Harry Potter in a roundabout way, in that, I want to talk about the reaction my friend group had when shit started really going down with That Bitch Rowling.
Because Rowling is a horrible person. She’s a TERF, a denier of Nazi Crimes, homophobic, anti-Semitic, the list goes on and on (and most recently, has been attacking a trans soccer manager, if my dash is to be believed? Somehow, she just seems more cartoonishly evil with each passing day). But this isn’t about That Bitch Rowling, not really. Or if it is, she’s merely a footnote in the story.
Harry Potter was, and I think this is true for many of us, a large part of my childhood. While the writing may be mediocre at best, it was wildly influential. I didn’t know a single kid that wasn’t hoping for a letter to Hogwarts. It was a Big Deal for a lot of people, and that included my friend group. My friend group, which is made up of members of the LGBTQ+ community. My friend group, which includes a young lady who we didn’t always know was a lady. I’m sure you can see where this might be going.
The day I got a tear filled phone call about That Bitch Rowling was, frankly, heartbreaking. She was mad because a woman she had respected up until now didn’t respect her. She wanted to get rid of her copies of the books, but didn’t want to donate them. I never want to hear her cry like that again. So I made a decision.
I told her to hold onto her books for just a little while longer. I phoned the group. I figured out when everyone could get together for a weekend, and when I had hammered out dates, I packed up my car, and drove the six hundred miles back to my childhood home.
In the passenger’s seat, was my set of Harry Potter books.
Excluding my trans friend, there were seven of us. I had made a plan, and my father had the space to enact it - I grew up on acres of land; complete with 200 year old oak tree, creek in the woods in the backyard, and a massive fire pit.
Nostalgia and youth, I find, paint everything with a rose tinted hue; if Rowling had just kept her mouth shut, I’m sure many of us would have looked back on the Harry Potter series with some amount of shame. But I don’t think it would have suffered the sort of fall from grace that led us to this point.
The fire pit is important for several reasons. For example, it had been the popular gathering place for my friend group of literal decades at this point. Small towns mean that you know everyone from a very early age. We lived right beside the woods, so we used the fire pit to burn the leaves, and the branches storms took down, of which there were many. And when the first six of my friends rolled down the half mile driveway that day, I had already collect enough wood to get a decent fire going.
Six of my friends. We told the seventh a later time. We wanted to be prepared, and anyway, we all had the same cargo (six sets of seven books joined mine on a rickety folding table). I put them to work collecting more firewood (is it really a good bonfire if you’re not risking setting the barn on fire?).
By the time our last member rolled up, I had a fire going.
She had her set of those damn books too.
(There is a visceral grief that comes from being let down by your childhood heroes, and I fully believe that That Bitch Rowling embodies the phrase “never meet your heroes,” because folks, as a general rule, I am not a fan of burning books. But I was prepared to make an exception.)
We burned our copies of the Harry Potter books that day, all eight of us. They were well read, beaten to hell and back, with cracked spines, and dents in corners, and pieces of the pages missing where we had bent down the corners one too many times. And I won’t lie to anyone. We cried. Tears of sorrow and rage, for the piece of our childhood that we were choosing to give up, because to keep it would be to disrespect the woman we had known and loved for longer than we’d ever had those books.
Letting go sucked. But it was the right thing to do.
When they were gone, we put out the fire, went inside, and built the pillow fort of our dreams. We marathoned Star Wars, and ordered too many pizzas, and had way too much soda. We fell asleep playing Risk, because that’s what our friend choose, and in the morning, I made waffles with chocolate chips and too much maple syrup.
I wanted to talk about this, not just because this is a fond memory for me (even though it is), but because one of my coworkers confessed to me that they hated Rowling, and everything she stood for, and they refused to have anything else to do with the Harry Potter franchise, but they just couldn’t bring themselves to get rid of the books.
I said I was happy to host another book burning.
But I wanted to write this down because I know that sometimes it’s hard to take that final step, to leave behind that last thing. So for anyone who needs to hear it, it’s okay to grieve the things we loose when we grow up. Letting go can be hard, but I promise you’ll end up better off. It’s been awhile since things really went downhill, but I maintain that, in this case, death of the author is nonexistent, and it is better to have loved and then lost, than to hold on too tight.
Don’t hurt yourself on the shattered remains of your childhood magic.
#fuck jkr#anti jkr#screw jkr#jk rowling#harry potter#book burning#please don’t hurt yourself on the shattered remains of your childhood magic#i know it used to be huge#i know it practically defined the childhhod of so many people here#and i know that even though you know she’s terrible#it can still be difficult to give that up#this is me telling you it’s okay#this is me telling you that letting go#while difficult#is healthy#this is me telling you to not be upset with yourself for grieving the things she forced us to loose#terfs dni#jkr stans dni
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can i be honest? i dont think tim and bear have a really grand proposal. i think it happens at their apartment that they got bc bear finally put his foot down and went "baby you're immunocompromised. you cannot live on a murderboat on the gotham river" and tim reluctantly gives in but not without finding some random apartment complex that's still near the marina so he can go down and get his ass beat at poker by pie. and so it happens late at night, when tim is in nightwing sleep shorts and bear's old band tee on and bear is in some horrendous anime sweats and no shirt because their home is the only place he's ever felt comfortable leaving his scars out. and the lamplight gives a soft hazy glow to bear's tattoos and tim reaches under the shirt to scratch and in the movement bear can see the bear tim got tattooed onto his hip and he can't help grin softly. and they're both sitting on the couch as some lame ass procedural drama goes on in the background and they're eating batburger. tim's got the nightwing special and bear has the sword robin combo. and the ringbox is burning a hole through bear's thigh and tim makes some stupid comment about how lame meredith sounds begging some guy to love her and all bear can think is how much he loves this boy. so he gets up to get some water and he positions his phone so that he can get the best video bc tim is a sucker for home video and he plops down on the sofa hard enough that tim turns around to complain except bear is holding the ringbox open with a soft "marry me?" and tim goes "what?" and bear says "baby i have loved you since you walked through the gates of our high school and i loved you when you left and i loved you when you came back. i love the way you talk to yourself and i love the way dance when i put music on. and i even love the fact that you shove your ice cold feet in my shins every night. and i don't know exactly what to say except that i want to do this everyday until you get dentures and i get a hip replacement. and i want to be horny in the old age home and-" and tim cuts him off sob-laughing and says "can i say yes now?" and bear who is also crying says "wait, let me finish love. -and i want to do this in as many lives as we get together. so all this to says, timothy jackson drake, will you marry me?" and tim launches himself bear and shouts "yes, yes, yes! a thousand times over, yes" and they're sobbing as they slip the rings on each other.
#and then they fuck like rabbits all night#and then they tell the marina and that ends up being a multiple day celebration#and then they keep their engagement to themselves for like a year before bear gets hurt at work one day and tim says he his husband#to get access to bear and everyone is like HUSBAND???? and tim is mortified bc they've gotten so used to calling each other that#at home and now it's slipped out in public and anyway bruce and dick go full dad/bro-zilla#just absolutely insane over the wedding details and tim and bear dont know how to break it to them that they were never planning on#having a huge wedding and that they were just gonna go down to the courts and sign their name#and then they do that anyway during the wedding planning process and they get the marina together and they have a partyyy#an pie is fucking sobbing by the way#and mrs gupta from the houseboat all the way at the end is a little miffed bc 'why didnt you tell me u were taken bernard?'#and tim has to stop himself from launching at the woman bc he did tell her!!! and she kept trying to set bear up with her son who#works at the hospital!!!!!#and miss bongkamtree from next door just wants to know if it means they'll stop having super loud sex#and bear smirks and goes 'sorry next 5 years are booked for super loud sex'#anyway they get married ontop of their apartment on the rooftop garden and lemme tell you it's packed up there#and the reception is in the marina ofc!!!#those are their people!!!!#bernard dowd#tim drake#timbern#timber
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One of these days Adrian Tchaikovsky is gonna drop a novel about sentient spacefaring leeches and for about 600 pages I'm gonna be forced to care about those bastard creatures and I'm gonna LIKE IT
#children of time#its been a year since i finished that one#and about a week since i finished#children of ruin#now i love octopi#but the huge spiders? the bodysnatching bacteria?#Tchaikovsky has a knack for changing your entire mindset towards a critter at least temporarily#i hear the third book is about corvids and i dread to ask what the secondary sentience is this time#These of We fucked me up SEVERELY#Frankly I'll be avoiding CoM for a while cuz i dont wanna spend time with a character whose sentence is in part the These Of We#FUCK those guys#kudos to Tchaikovsky the These Of We are terrifying#but also FUCK THEM SO HARD THEY'RE TERRIFYING#adrian tchaikovsky#science fiction#books#jess talks
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I love trying to do historical research, you want an answer to a simple question like "could Jews serve in the British army in the 1880s" and you get back
Jews in the American Revolution
Jews in the American Civil War
Jews in World War I
Jews who fought for Nazi Germany
Thanks, that absolutely covers the time period and country I specifically asked for, couldn't have done it without you
#nobody wants to give me british military info for ANYTHING between the Crimea and WW I anyway#which is why I'm fucking stalled and can't plot this story any further bc my mc starts the story as a fucking soldier#and if he's still in the military later that will obviously hugely impact the story#but I can't make that decision because my time period is Screwed apparently#even when you specifcially search for FIRST boer war or use the more common 'transvaal rebellion' they STILL will only give info on the 2nd#and yes I've read 2 books about it which are the only sources of info on the war in the entire world and still need more info#but even just trying to figure out if one of the background characters could be jewish or not will never be figured out either#bc any info on the british military-- even its career structure-- is somehow nonexistent#I've even checked my college library#either people are purposely hiding this stuff#or there's some magical code word I have to apply to get even scholarly sources to reveal it to me#attempts to find people who know about it#or even contact a historical consultant have also not worked#historical consultants can only be reached by tv producers who must swear to then disregard anything a consultant might tell them
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I was looking at a few posts about autism (as one does) and it just suddenly clicked into place a fundamental thing about Yuri's character that I'd been grasping at, but hadn't really been able to adequately identify. I still have a much longer and more thorough analysis going through a whole lot of my thoughts on Yuri's character and her experience of autism that i'm working on (of which this will likely be a component), but I thought I'd share this separately just to emphasize.
Post I saw which made this click for me was making fun of the fact that most media depicting impaired empathy in autistic characters explicitly depicts them with this unflappable confidence of never having been rejected by people they love. The crux of this is that in actual reality, autistic people almost always have that experience at some point, for some behavior, for reasons they don't really understand. "There is an invisible line where people will get sick of you, and you have no warning of when you're about to cross it." So frequently, autistic people attempt to ride a razor thin edge, walking on constant eggshells to desperately attempt to avoid crossing that line.
Very often autistic people will attempt to avoid doing anything at all which could be considered weird, or off-putting, and will try their absolute hardest to do things in a way that is acceptable to other people, sometimes to the point of outright suppressing their emotions, because they are afraid that they'll say something just wrong enough that the people they care about will push them away, and they don't understand WHY it happened, but they know it's THEIR fault. Sometimes masking is fighting to appear aloof all the time because you can't regulate your emotions in a way that is acceptable to other people.
And holy fucking Jesus, that fits the exact mold of what I've been trying to talk about with the particular way Yuri's anxieties manifest.
It really feels to me like Yuri has this constant fear of breaking the "rules" of socializing, despite not really understanding what those rules even are. She's constantly afraid of saying something wrong, when she doesn't even know what wrong would be, she's just sure everyone ELSE will know it when they hear it. I think a huge part of her social anxiety comes from her own understanding of herself as a very weird person who doesn't really get a lot of how to socialize, and it seems to me like she's probably dealt with her fair share of social rejection and isolation based on those traits. She then felt she had to take responsibility for those traits, probably because it's the one thing she can change, and she is the one common denominator in all of these bad situations (This is something which is pretty common, actually! "Everyone else can socialize just fine, and I have so much difficulty with it! I must just be broken in some way. I have to try super hard to be normal to make friends!")
I think a big part of why it's so apparent in the Literature Club is because she really thinks she's found a place where she can make friends in spite of all of her issues, so when she starts...being herself, and receives even the smallest HINT of pushback, she overcorrects and tries to rein all of herself in to fix her "mistake", because she really wants to make friends here, and doesn't want them to reject her as well.
She's had this experience of others pushing her away for being weird so often that, coupled with her acknowledged trouble for reading situations, when anybody responds poorly to something and she recognizes it, she immediately overcorrects out of fear of being an annoying burden to everyone around her, and that "correction" consists of suppressing herself into being "normal" (or at least "less weird"), because she believes nobody could actually like her just for being who she is. There's something wrong with her fundamentally, and to make friends, for people to like her and want to be around her, she has to "fix" herself.
it's just, like...
it's really hard for me to interpret Yuri's character that doesn't involve her being somewhere on the spectrum, bros. she's written with such delicately constructed autistic coding, despite the appearance of just being a hackneyed weird girl visual novel trope. she deserves the world.......
#related which i'll hopefully talk about in my bigger analysis piece;#i think it's really neat how sayori & yuri's particular kinds of neurodivergent thinking clash in understanding!#like id say sayori is big adhd energy (might talk about that at some point) & deep in the anxiety hole#& yuri is very much autistic with a lot of obvious anxiety#& despite the fact that they clearly relate to each other a lot and have a lot of the same self-destructive thinking#the conflict in understanding is the huge misunderstanding that they get because of the way they both present themselves to each other!#& sayori has a lot of issues which yuri misinterprets as her not liking the book because of her own issues!#& yuri has a lot of issues which sayori misinterprets as sayori's stupidity discouraging yuri because of her own issues!#despite them both trying to tell each other that that isn't the issue at all in different ways. until yuri finally breaks down#& SAYORI BRIDGES THE GAP BETWEEN THEM BECAUSE SHE'S THE GOAT#GRAAAHHHHH I HAVE SO MUCH TO FUCKING SAYYYYYYYYY#ddlc yuri#ddlc#doki doki literature club#musings
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i hate the 'homophobic snape' thing a lot in general, i mean it's worth noting basically his only friend through most of the books is also the only gay character lol.
but the truth about snape is he doesn't give a shit about stuff like that. I don't think he would have rly known about it if (big if) any of the marauders were gay-- like being 100% realistic I don't think as a teenager in the 70s he'd be above using homophobia as an insult if it was someone he hated. but also if it was someone he was friends with (mulciber) he would be accepting/not care. similar to the werewolf thing, i don't doubt he was frequently extremely vicious and offensive to remus about it but if it had been someone he liked (so lily or mulciber) who was a werewolf he would have been pretty accepting of it imo. if it was a random student he wouldn't have cared.
that being said i often dislike homophobia plots in fic in general because they always seem so gratuitous and over the top. it's obviously using snape as a mouthpiece for the most extreme vile (and out of character) views so that the marauders are justified in bullying him. like i don't think he was woke and politically correct (clearly) but be fr he doesn't care that much. and it's not that i don't think people should explore homophobia in their own writing, obviously, explore away, this is just why i personally dislike the way it's handled a lot of the time. it just so often feels contrived and insensitive to me, kind of misery porn-ish if that makes any sense. like to what extent is it necessary i guess
#im a bisexual snape truther anyway#but its the same thing as james where ppl arent content for snape to be as bad as he is in canon. he also needs to be homophobic#and classist (?????????)#u can tell the author of (popular marauders fic) barely fucking read the books lol#snape is a character hugely defined by his working class origins#anti atyd#just in case#similarly if snape had been a werewolf instead of R the marauders would NOT have been accepting imo.#joining the order/getting closer to dumbledore would likely have been eye opening in that and many regards#but i dont think most people in the 70s would be automatically tolerant of werewolves#severus
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wait yeah hold on how the hell did edwin open a door from hell to earth? like if powerful beings like the night nurse or certain demonic entities are necessary to open and close doors to other planes (especially hell where souls being trapped there is kind of the point) then what the fuck did edwin manage to pull off? did he somehow trick a demon or whatever into opening one? was one opened for one reason or another– maybe upon a demon’s return from retrieving a soul– and he timed it, booked it, and jumped in? there certainly isn’t just some constantly open ever-accessible door at the top of The Endless Staircase considering that would make hell kind of pointless. did edwin payne manage, somehow, over the span of 70 years, to figure out how to open a door from limbo/the staircase to earth by himself? am i just missing something here?
#i know (i believe?) that in the comics he doesn’t escape via his own efforts- something happens with hell as a whole and he gets yoinked out#as an unintentional byproduct if what i remember is correct#and the show rewrites that narrative completely so that it’s His persistent efforts that get him out eventually#so point is we can’t really look at the comics and get an answer from there cause. this didn’t happen in the comics#it’d be real fucking wild if he learned to open a portal himself somehow–#ohhhhhh what if that explains his specific expertise in mirror travel?#that leaves the question of where the hell he’d get the research materials to do such a thing but. that’s something that could be explained#somehow if they wanted to#every once in a while a person frozen in limbo is a magic user and he just checks and checks and checks whenever he can for any books they#might have in their bags#or maybe he learned something while with the previous demons that owned him. memorizing an incantation he hears when a portal is opened.#something like that. idk#point is it can be explained Somehow with a little bit of fanagling#I really hope i didn’t miss some huge fact in the show that explains all this and I don’t look real stupid right now#rambling#edwin#edwin payne#dead boy detectives#I should not be awake right now god help me
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